I remember when...

Fair warning, this post is about something that is heavy on my heart today. I try to keep an upbeat attitude about the fact that I have children on the autism spectrum. I am a very firm believer in the fact that this is NOT a death sentence, that it is NOT the end of the world, and that my kids will grow up to be the amazing people God created them to be.

Sometimes, though, it makes me sad.

Sometimes it gets hard.

And sometimes, like today, I remember what my life was like before we knew anything was wrong.

Before the heartache.

Before the fear.

Before the confusion.

When we were a "normal" family.

Today, autism is hard. Today, my heart hurts, and I miss the plans and dreams I had for my kids. I miss the life I thought we would live. I miss the simplicity of what my existence was.