Last night Tobiah was having a really hard time. I think he was over tired and his blood sugar may have been off a bit, but he had been told he needed to clean his room before he could come out after Rich got home. This escalated to one of the huge screaming, kicking, banging, throwing things tantrums, so we calmly went about it in our normal way, taking a stuffy away every time we had to remind him not to stomp, kick the wall, or throw things, talking to him calmly, reminding him to take deep breaths, and so on. After about 30 minutes, he was FINALLY mostly calm and doing an amazing job cleaning his room. Then Elli came along... She very meanly and snottily said "we're having applesauce", just to be a jerk to him and upset him. I have to say though, Tobiah shocked me. He paused for a second, then said (granted in an equally snotty tone) "well I can have some when I am done, and I'm almost done anyway!" When questioned exactly what had been said to him (I only heard his response, but given what he said and how he said it I am certain he was being truthful), he also said that what Elli had said had really upset him and made him angry.
I am flat out amazed with my son. This is my boy who has a hard time regulating emotions, and often has a hard time expressing himself. He was only maybe 20 minutes out from one of his all out huge, out of control, not coping at all tantrums, but he did not take Elli's bate and get all worked up again. He kept calm, held onto the knowledge that if he did what he was supposed to he would get his applesauce like the girls had, and told Elli off. He handled it better than I've ever seen him handle a hard situation like that. I'm so impressed, so proud, and so amazed. I'm also full of hope that we are getting somewhere, and now have something big to remember in the midst of his tantrums. My boy will overcome, he will learn to cope with emotions, and he will succeed in life.
For the record, Elli got in a good amount of trouble for antagonizing her little brother and for the next week will be learning about serving others through cleaning his room for him daily. Hopefully she will not only think twice before being mean again, but will learn something about what it means to serve and love our brothers and sisters instead of leading them to stumble and sin.
