What I thought autism had stolen

Nae-Nae is such a sweet girl. She just found Rue's Hello Kitty figurine and, despite the fact Rue is sound asleep, tucked it next to her, and when I looked to see what she was doing said "I was just giving Rue-Rue this".

I had big dreams for those two when I found out I would have girls so close in age. Those dreams included them being best friends and doing everything together, walking hand in hand through life, snuggling late into the night talking instead of sleeping.

By the time Ruth was born, it was obvious something was "off" with Naomi, but everybody kept telling us (mostly me) that it was in my head and that she was just different than my older kids. The first year of Ruth's life was a challenge with Naomi, and she hated Ruth. Absolutely hated her. By the end of that first year, I knew beyond a doubt my child was autistic. Rich was coming around to the same realization. My dreams were slowly being completely shattered.

Then something beautiful began to happen. Ruth started engaging Naomi. At first Naomi did not like it, but Ruth was relentless in her admiration of her big sister, and her desire to play. Slowly, day by day, she chipped away at Naomi, until one day they played. I sat in the living room with tears pouring down my face as I watched them. They would chase each other from the living room to the kitchen, and one would climb in the corner cupboard (I believe Ruth), and the other would slam it shut, then climb out and chase back to the living room. They did this for quite some time. Normally this is the kind of play I would not allow, and so many times I was sure fingers would be smashed, but I could not bring myself to stop them. Nobody ended up hurt, thankfully.

From that day on, I saw a transformation, and they played more and more. For a long time, it was always Ruth that started it, but in time Naomi started, too, and eventually they were always together. 

Autism has shaped their relationship in many ways. I've had to give up on some of the dreams that I had for them, like the cuddling and hand holding. It's typically like pulling teeth to get them to hold hands, unless it is to swing each other around. On the rare occasion that Naomi wishes to cuddle, well, let's just say she's a little overbearing. Maybe that, too, will change in time, but for now I revel in the relationship that they share. They are best friends, and not in the way I dreamed-in a much more beautiful, and more profound way than I could have ever pictured. Ruth is Naomi's safety, her constant, and her example. What I thought was stolen by autism has been made indescribably precious by autism.